I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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