it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
