I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
