i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
