i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
