do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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