I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Randomize
