Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
