They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i would punch a child for taco bell
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
