she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
