went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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