He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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