Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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