Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
