dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
