In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
