I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Randomize
