So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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