i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
just found out that she named her cat after me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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