she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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