you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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