I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
