you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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