before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she smelled like a LAN party
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
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Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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