I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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