OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I met the friendliest cop last night
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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