overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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