Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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