My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
