Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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