it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
and you said cock pushups were impossible
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house