Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my being single is dangerous.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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