somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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