Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
