yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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