hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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