I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my sisters under your porch take her home
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
