just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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