Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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