he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
