Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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