Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
