btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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