You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
