Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
