White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
