My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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