Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Dicks are not precious.
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