arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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