Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
