This gyro tastes like lonliness
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
