Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
