Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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