What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
