what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Two words: nipple clamps
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