she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
why do cheetos always look like penises
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
