im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
