I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
