Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
