She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
