Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
