My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
