I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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