And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
