you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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