hotel room ftw
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
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