Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
