i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
