I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize